This is a common question that troubles many seekers. Perhaps, before asking why a prayer appears to remain unanswered, we must first understand what prayer truly means.
Prayer is a conversation with Bhagawan. It is a heartfelt dialogue between the devotee and the Lord. In spirituality, it is said that the material world is an inverted reflection of the spiritual world. Therefore, by observing the world around us with depth and awareness, we may gain a faint understanding of certain spiritual principles.
Yet, observation alone can never reveal the true nature of Bhagawan. The scriptures take us much closer to understanding the Lord, while the Guru brings that understanding closest to our lived experience.
We know that Bhagawan is the Supreme Being and that we are subordinate to Him. To understand how prayer works, we can take a simple example from the material world.
Consider the Lord to be like the Leader of a nation, while we are an ordinary, unknown citizen. The head of the nation seems unreachable, yet he always works towards the welfare of the people. As citizens, we are given several ways to communicate our concerns.
Suppose we write a letter describing our struggle with unemployment. The Head of the State may already be aware that unemployment is a serious problem, and yet we may not see any immediate action directed towards us. Instead, we may see that time and resources are deployed for improving infrastructure, strengthening international relations or encouraging the business sectors.
From our limited position, these activities may appear totally unrelated to our difficulties. We may even feel disappointed and wonder, “Why is nothing being done about my problem?”
But over time, these very actions create industries, attract investment, increase tourism and generate employment. What appeared unrelated to our concern earlier, suddenly becomes relevant to us. This was a very general example. Something similar happens when prayers feel unheard.
There are two main thought-processes that make us feel that our prayers are not being heard. First, we wonder whether our prayer has even reached Bhagawan. Second, we may assume that even if He has heard us, He has chosen not to respond.
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Let us consider the first concern.
In the example of the citizen, it is possible that the Prime Minister may never personally read a particular letter. So, in a way he is ignorant of us. But can such a shortcoming apply to Bhagawan? Can we ever remain oblivious to Him?
No.
Bhagawan is not subject to the flaws and limitations of an ordinary human being. He is omnipresent and the knower of all hearts. Nothing is hidden from Him.
Then we may ask: Then why does He not respond? But this leads to another important question: Does every desire expressed before Bhagawan qualify as a Prayer?
Our expression transforms into Prayer only when it is spiritually meaningful, when it begins to align with Dharma, Shastra and Guru. A desire that is righteous, does not harm another person and ultimately supports our spiritual welfare is very different from a desire born merely from greed, ego or lust.
Therefore, we must first examine what we are asking for.
Is the desire Dharmic? Do the scriptures attest it? Would our Guru consider it beneficial for our spiritual and material well-being?
When our wish passes through this three step enquiry, it can be eligible because it is no longer a personal wish. Even then, someone may ask, “If Bhagawan has heard my prayer, why has nothing changed?”
This is where the earlier example becomes useful.
Bhagawan does respond immediately, but His response does not always appear in the form we expect. His arrangement may unfold through circumstances and people. It may also dawn upon as insights, opportunities or even apparent obstacles. For example- Someone may pray that they should have enough money to live. This may materialize as moving into a smaller apartment. Outwardly, it seems that it is a lifestyle downgrade and that the prayer has not been answered. But, by the end of the month, you may have more savings than expected. So, here an apparent hardship became a channel of the Lord’s Divine Grace. So, what seems unrelated or unpleasant today may later prove to be a part of the Lord’s larger arrangement.
We must have this firm conviction that the Lord does what is ultimately beneficial for the devotee. That benefit will unfold gradually.
Our individual karma also plays an important role here. The consequences of past actions can prolong a difficult period. Prayers are not meant to erase our bad karma. Prayer ensures that the divine connection is not severed while we are going through rough patches.
Such a phase can create an impression that we are abandoned by the Lord. But, this is an illusion.
Worldly experience, or Maya, can place a person under tremendous pressure. Circumstances may exhaust the mind and make life appear hopeless. Prayer keeps the devotee connected to Bhagawan in the midst of all of this.
Prayer is not to hope that something favourable will happen. It is faith and has a very different quality of surrender.
There is an important difference between hope and faith.
If we pray only because we hope or expect Bhagawan to remove a particular difficulty, then our relationship with Him becomes dependent upon whether that difficulty disappears. We unconsciously end up judging Bhagawan. The moment a tough situation continues, our faith begins to shake. So, the basis of our bond with Bhagawan is highly dependent on external circumstances. Prayer fails to have a definite ground in this case.
But if our prayer is understood as a means of remaining connected with Bhagawan under every circumstance, then even suffering becomes a means to see His Divine grace. We will be able to witness His Grace more evidently in such a case.
This is why wish fulfilment cannot be the sole purpose of prayer.
At times, what we call prayer may actually be a personal demand placed before Bhagawan. Hidden within it may be our own agenda, attachment or expectation that life must unfold exactly as we desire. But, such an expectation is pointless as Karmic principles apply to each one of us. This we must realize.
True prayer gradually transforms our attitude. It helps us step down from demanding to surrendering.
Instead of saying, “Bhagawan, give me exactly what I want,” the heart will begin to say, “Bhagawan, just remain with me. Give me the strength and understanding to go through whatever comes.”
So, the law of Karma continues to operate throughout human life. Even when grace is present, a person may still have to undergo the consequences of previous actions. Divine grace does not mean that every painful event will be prevented.
A simple example can help us understand this.
A safety jacket does not prevent an accident from taking place. Its purpose is to protect the person when the accident occurs and reduce the damage caused by it.
In a similar way, Bhagawat Kripa and Guru Kripa do not avert the karma. Instead it serves as the life jacket, protecting the devotee from being destroyed by the experience of karma.
It provides strength when strength is needed.
It brings the right person at the right time. When confused Grace dawns in the form of insight. It prevents suffering from turning into despair. And sometimes, it slowly changes the circumstances themselves.
This is one of the deepest purposes of prayer.
Then instead of repeatedly asking, “Why has Bhagawan not answered me?” we begin to realize, “How graciously the Lord carried me through this!”
Damodar Das Ji Maharaj
Rohini Devi Dasi